To ShinobuChan On Her 16th Birthday
by Luna Stop Swearing
Summary: People say that if two lovers confess to each other on the girl's 16th birthday, they'll live happily ever after. Keitaro/Shinobu, will they make it?
1. Default Chapter

To Shinobu-chan on Her 16th Birthday  
  
By Luna Stop Swearing  
  
Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu and whatever company he works for.  
  
A/N: Be nice! This is my first Love Hina fic, and was inspired by Last Dance With Shinobu-chan by Project Pegasus. AMAZING writing. Best LH fic on FF.Net so far. Go read it, okay?!? As for the title, it's actually from an awful movie from the 90s, entitled To Gillian On Her 37th Birthday. It seemed. appropriate.  
  
Words in ~~ indicate a character's thoughts.  
  
Words in indicate a character's conscience.  
  
{~*~}  
  
Chapter 1: Ki  
  
Ring.  
  
~Shimatta. Good timing. BRILLIANT timing. Why does the damn phone always seem to ring when you're DOING something important and don't want to get distracted?~  
  
"Will someone please answer the phone?" Naru yelled, buried among the columns of university books that she was meticulously poring over and taking notes from. She was already starting on her thesis, despite the fact that they had only been announced just a day ago. Well, now that she was a Toudaisei, there would be no slacking off. She'd rather marry Keitaro than flunk out.  
  
Oi, where did THAT come from, e, Narusegawa?  
  
At the thought of Keitaro and marriage in the same sentence, Naru cringed and copied out Dursell's Fifth Theory of Parapsychology in her neat, flowing script. ~Concentrate,~ she admonished herself, forcing the tiny, idiotic part of her brain that worshipped Keitaro to the deepest, darkest trenches of her psyche. It was embarrassing enough that she had put up with that speck of brain for a long time already, but to be controlled by it? Ugh! But the minute part of brain wouldn't go. It was like Superman. No matter how many times you tried to kill him, no matter how many times you pushed him off the ravine and think you'd won, he'd fly back up and stick his tongue out and taunt you, saying "Nya nya nya nya nya."  
  
Ring.  
  
With each subtle little ring, Naru's nerves felt like a thoroughly-chewed piece of tough beef being sliced through with a Ginzu knife.  
  
~I need a break,~ she thought. She was so tired, even her thoughts were starting to babble. After all, she HAD been working for six hours straight, the routine being research copy, research copy yell at residents to shut up, research copy take a sip of sake and another and another. you get the picture.  
  
She got up and went to the kitchen to make tea for herself and do a little light reading- perhaps digesting a few more theories on ESP and its relations to dreams would do her some good.  
  
~The phone can ring itself out~, Naru decided, shaking out some mint leaves from a container and dipping it into the teapot full of a strange orange tea that Su-chan and Sara-chan had recently invented, which actually didn't taste half-bad. ~Just like my social life~, she added, watching Mitsune and Seta-sensei sitting on a low stone wall on a hill that overlooked the rest of Japan and its beautiful lights. Under the blue blanket that was the sky, sparkling with diamonds, it was romantic. If you didn't have someone to share it with, you'd feel like a total loser, which is what Naru felt like at the moment.  
  
See, even Mitsune is better off than you are. She has someone to love. But you? Your life is a huge comedy, a satire. You work and work, and yet nothing happens. You are just a pawn in a huge chess game that you can't even comprehend. You don't own yourself.  
  
Naru would have given her kidney to anyone who could take her conscience away and send it straight to hell.  
  
~Being alone is worse than being dead~, Naru declared. Another sharp ring jolted her senses as she imagined her death, her funeral, her soul lingering somewhere in Hinata Sou and kicking Keitaro whenever she felt like it.  
  
That did it, apparently. She unceremoniously slammed her teacup onto the tabletop and stalked back to the telephone.  
  
"Are you purposely trying to make me go crazy?" she demanded of the phone.  
  
The yellow plastic vibrated in response, adding a little condescending ring to it.  
  
"Zankusen! I will avenge the women and children!" Motoko Aoyama cried, a mighty flash of wind descending the wooden staircase like an evanescent entity. Thinking it was Keitaro, she leapt from the banister and sent strike after strike in Naru's general direction. "You pervert! You bastard! Step away from Naru-sempai! I will grind your testicles to make my bread! I will use your blood to make tea! I-"  
  
The air cleared, Motoko's shinai raised high above her head, waiting to see Keitaro in the flesh so she could maul him, preferably to death. But all she saw was Naru leaning flat against the wall, breathing heavily.  
  
"Anou. Motoko-chan." Naru smiled weakly.  
  
"Senpai? What happened? Where is Pervy McPerv?"  
  
"Who, Motoko? Ah, Keitaro. He's not here."  
  
Ring.  
  
"But you were yelling." Motoko flushed profusely and looked away. ~Okay, wrong number. Leave. Leave quickly.~ "I must practice some more."  
  
"It was just the phone, Motoko-chan."  
  
Ring, the phone said in Naru's defense.  
  
"Hn," the kendo girl responded before shamefully ascending the staircase, probably to change or ask Su and Sara to accompany her while she indulged herself in her favorite sport: Keitaro Hunting.  
  
"Moshi moshi," Naru murmured half-heartedly into the phone. "Hinata-Sou."  
  
"Is Shinobu there?" a woman's voice asked. "I would like to speak with her."  
  
"May I ask who is calling?" Probably her mother, you idiot. But then again, Mrs. Maehara normally didn't call to check on her daughter.  
  
"Her mother."  
  
See? See? Her conscience was taunting her again. "Ryoukai, please hold."  
  
Naru somewhat felt guilty, sounding like a telephone operator. She always wanted people to hear a homey sort of voice, like your mother's when she puts you to bed. Telephone operators and call centers were always so cold and impersonal, which was why she abandoned her girlish dream of working as one if she didn't get into Toudai. She let the receiver hang from its cord as she ascended the stairs, shouting "Shinobu-chan! Shinobu-chan!"  
  
Probably studying in her room, baka.  
  
She knocked at her kohai's door, accompanied by "Shinobu-chan! Shinobu- chan! Your 'ka-san's on the phone!" Knocking quickly turned into pounding, and pounding escalated into kicking the door open. Opening the door would have been the rational thing to do, but Naru wasn't a really rational person to begin with, so it didn't matter. One quick roundhouse kick did it, and the the door fell on the hardwood floor. She was thankful for her teenage years, practicing judo to strengthen her bones, which had been considerably weakened when she had been bedridden as a child.  
  
"Shinobu! Shinobu! Where are you?" Futon. Desk. Chair. Closet. Poster of Masayo Kurata. Open window. No Shinobu. Naru Narusegawa tried to digest all of this at the same time. She flung open the closet. All of Shinobu's things were gone.  
  
And Hell froze over.  
  
~Uh oh~. Naru wasn't good at panicking-that was Keitaro's forte-so she tried to remain as calm as possible, descending the staircase normally, albeit she was visibly shaking and sweating.  
  
"Na-ru!" Sara MacDougal yelled from the landing. "We caught fish for dinner tonight!"  
  
"Hai!" Kaolla all but screamed from behind, holding up a few green-looking fish that had definitely seen better days. Or better waters. Or at least, nontoxic ones.  
  
Disgusted although trying hard to appreciate the catch, Naru smiled awkwardly. "Wow! Eh.Su-chan, Sara-chan, have you seen Shinobu around lately? Did you see her go anywhere?"  
  
Sara scratched her head. "Earlier, I saw her packing her things in this huge leather suitcase. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was making room for more things."  
  
"Come to think of it," Kaolla said slowly, "She was in the kitchen a little while ago, getting food from the kitchen. When I asked her who the food was for, she said she was going on a picnic by herself. And since I still had to go to school today, I didn't ask any more questions."  
  
Naru's belly froze. ~Couldn't be. Little Shinobu-chan? Run away? That was even more laughable than the thought of me and Keitaro getting married! Damn, there's the thought again!~ She clutched her temple and cleared her brain of the fog that had built up. "You two, listen very carefully. Round up everyone in the Hinata Sou. Get them to meet me in the living room. EVERYONE, you hear. Mutsumi, Keitaro, Seta, EVERYONE. I'll try to talk Mrs. Maehara into hanging up."  
  
"Shinobu's mom's on the phone?"  
  
The sempai nodded morosely. "Scatter, both of you." She herself, in a show on complete un-feminism, hitched a leg over the banister and slid down with such ease even Kaolla and Sara would be envious of.  
  
"Maehara-sama!" Naru exclaimed a little too peppily as she picked up the receiver again. "Uh.about Shinobu-chan.she's unavailable at the moment, but she'll return your call when she gets here, okay?"  
  
"MINNA-SAN!" Sara and Kaolla yelling at the top of their lungs from some nook of the house. "SHINOBU IS MISSING! MEETING IN THE LIVING ROOM! MINNA- SAN."  
  
Naru mutely begged them to keep it down, or better yet, shut up. Mrs. Maehara was no doubt going to hear it.  
  
"What was that about Shinobu? She's MISSING?" Mrs. Maehara had definitely heard the shouting. ~Nice going, Kaolla, Sara.~  
  
"Ah, iie, Maehara-sama!" Naru laughed nervously. "Su-chan was just saying that Shinobu-chan was missing something.her. her. bra." ~That didn't come out too well, ne?~ "Anyway, Maehara-sama, I have to go, ja!"  
  
She slammed down the phone and started to panic just as Keitaro, Motoko, Mitsune, Mutsumi, Seta-sensei, Shirai, Haitani, Kitsune, Sara, Kaolla, and Haruka returned.  
  
End of Chapter 1.  
  
A/N: Well? Should I continue? Should it be Keitaro/Shinobu or Keitaro/Naru? Give me feedback! Review, okay, minna? 


	2. Ai

To Shinobu-Chan On Her 16th Birthday  
  
By Luna Stop Swearing  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.  
  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! This is based on the anime, not the manga, since I am too poor to buy them. And besides, I can't find any English ones. Can't read katakana, hiragana, or anything else related to that, but I can read a little kanji. Frankly, I'm still confused. Stuff in ~~ are the character's thoughts, stuff in the are the character's conscience. Thanks!  
  
{~*~} (That's my muse of ficcing, Ragart!)  
  
Chapter 2: Ai  
  
Marvelous idea, Shinobu-chan. This is what happens when you live your life according to impulse.  
  
Shinobu was seated at a bench near the bus stop she used to wait at to go to grammar school with several pounds of luggage in different sizes, trying to catch her breath. She was surprised how far she got with a wheelbarrow she'd 'borrowed' from the tool shed at Hinata Sou  
  
~Well, I was expecting to collapse before I could get out of there. It's a miracle that I'm still alive.~  
  
It was an unbelievable stroke of luck, finding the steep slope leading to the city proper. To save time, she'd ridden it downhill. Sure, she flew out of the wheelbarrow once it hit that huge rock and landed in the gorse bush, but it was well worth it. It had saved her hours of lugging everything down the miles of steps of Hinata Sou and avoided the risk of getting caught.  
  
She checked her watch. It was 10 PM. It had only been an hour since she had left, and this early in the game she was having second thoughts about what she was about to do. Even though she was almost sixteen, there was still a part of the thirteen year-old Shinobu Maehara left in her. The shell of the old Shinobu was still present, although not as dominant as it used to be.  
  
It would be her first time to travel alone, and she was more frightened than she had ever been in her life. Even more so than when she had been called up onstage at the auditorium at junior high graduation in front of all those people to receive her award for excellence. This was a different definition of fear altogether.  
  
In this fear, she wouldn't see any more cruel classmates who did nothing but criticize her, tease her because of her lack of height and cleavage, and make her cry. No more terror teachers would assign mountains of math homework that she didn't understand. In this fear, she would have to learn to make alliances to survive. She would have to use her cunning and her wit to get by. She would have to learn to define friend from stranger.  
  
~I am SO dead. I won't last a second out here, she wailed in her mind. I'll be one of those girls I keep seeing on the news, chopped up and thrown into a garbage bag after being raped.~  
  
She shuddered at the thought of Urashima-senpai and everyone else going to the morgue and the coroner telling everyone to identify her body. Nobody knew it, but she had a pretty vivid imagination.  
  
~Good thing I already wrote out my will.~  
Okay, Shinobu-chan, getting a little ahead of ourselves, ne? Calm down. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. She fingered the pocketknife she had in her pants pocket. Had she been assaulted, that would be her only mode of defense. That and maybe what little kendo she had learned over the years from Aoyama-senpai.  
  
~How the heck am I supposed to survive in the world if I can't even defend my lousy self?~  
  
~I want to go home,~ she decided, tears rolling off her eyelashes and onto her new jeans. ~I can't do this.~ She wrapped the jacket Motoko-senpai and Kitsune-senpai had given her for Christmas two years ago tighter around her shoulders. It was a cold night in Kanagawa. Not just cold, but the freeze- your-skin-off-type, although not exactly uncharacteristic of the time of year, since Christmas was just around a month away. Misty, too.  
  
She started sniffling and feeling helpless again. Shinobu wasn't surprised, though, she had never stop being so sensitive and self-conscious, those being two traits she had unwillingly dragged into her high school life.  
  
Then go. Run home now, before you change your mind and get chopped up into little chunks.  
Shinobu stood up, set on heading back home with her head bent low.  
~Baka, baka baka, Shinobu. No guts. Remember what Kitsune-senpai told you. No guys, no glory. No, that doesn't sound right. Ah! Motoko-senpai said, no guts, no glory.~  
  
Exactly. You have no guts; therefore no glory will ever befall you.  
  
With her conscience reassuring her that going home would probably be better for everyone else, she awkwardly walked a few paces towards the dirt path leading to the backyard of the Hinata Inn  
  
"If you will not slaughter the chicken, you cannot make chicken soup."  
  
"Nani?" Shinobu snapped to attention, looking up from her reverie to see three old men in various degrees of baldness dressed in old Buddhist temple robes. "Ojisan?"  
  
"Atama kakushite, shiri kakusazu*," another said.  
  
Shinobu had seen them around town ever since she was small, usually going into the popular teahouse across the street from where she used to live. She remembered asking her 'ka-san who they were, and she said they were disgraced monks who had nothing better to do than drink their lives into the gutter. All throughout her younger years she wondered what they might have done to be disgraced, coming up with ludicrous and absurd hypotheses. And even when she lived at the Hinata Sou, they had sometimes appeared there, too, appearing in a mist or a fog, peddling useless Japanese proverbs freely. She asked Haruka who they were, and Haruka stared at her and said not to bother with them.  
  
"Sumeba miyako**," the last one said, in a tone that suggested that the phrase was lamentable.  
  
A bus skitted to a halt in front of her and emitted a cloud of noxious fumes. The driver opened the door for Shinobu.  
  
Last chance to back out, Shinobu-chan. It's your last chance to shamefully go back to Hinata Sou and make everyone see the same old Shinobu. It's your last chance to be seen alive.  
  
For some weird reason, the words of the crazy monks gave her the strength to stand up and push her cargo into the small compartment on the side of the bus, then slowly board it, as if it was trapped in the past, and this would be her first time to ride such a contraption.  
  
~Sayonara, oji-san. Sayonara Kanagawa, Sayonara, Hinata Sou, Sayonara Kaolla, Akiko, Motoko, Kitsune, Haruka, Naru-senpai, Sara-chan, Seta- sensei, Mutsumi, Haitani, Shirai. Keitaro.~  
  
The last name lingered in her mind and she shook it off, showing her bus pass to the driver, who nodded. She took an empty seat behind the driver, like her mother always told her to do when she was younger, in case she had to ride the bus alone.  
  
Sayonara, Shinobu Maehara, she whispered to the little ghost girl she had left behind, the one who yanked her towards the direction of the correct arrow, towards Hinata Inn.  
  
The little girl sat with her hands folded in her lap, still at the bench. She gave Shinobu a slight smile and a slight wave, mouthing, "Bye bye," watching the bus vanish around the corner before disappearing as well.  
  
{~*~}  
  
End of Chapter 2.  
  
Author's Notes: Is Motoko-chan OOC in Chapter 1? I thought the assault was right on cue. This is based on the anime, again.  
  
On the weird Japanese sayings:  
  
* Atama kakushite, shiri kakusazu literally is translated as 'Hide your head, but expose your bottom.'  
  
** Sumeba miyako, on the other hand, is literally translated as 'If residing metropolis.' LITERALLY. Strange as it sounds, there IS a deeper meaning to these phrases, which will be explained soon. Yes, even the chicken thing has a deeper meaning. They will be explained soon, unless you guys have already caught on.  
  
On Shinobu's character: I kind of based some of Shinobu's attitude on this name analysis thing on www.kabalarians.com, which is really cool. Also, from her zodiac sign, which is Scorpio (born November 15). Did you know that while Shinobu lacks verbal expression and spontaneity, she has a natural literary ability and writing comes easily to her (Makes me wonder why she ran away if she lacks spontaneity)? Must incorporate that in future chapters. Do you think that Shinobu would act like this if she were 15 years old? Please include this in your review.  
  
On weird chapter titles: They all mean something, and they are related to the world of martial arts. So in this fic, ai does not mean love.  
  
On the different references to I and Shinobu-chan (see first and third paragraphs): That's just Shinobu's conscience and her true self sparring with each other.  
  
On the relation of Chapter 1 to the other chapters: When I reread Chapter 1, I realized that what I had planned for later chapters didn't exactly fit in with what Chapter 1 stated, like it was supposed to be 'fall break' then (ugh, don't ask, to be explained soon), and Kaolla wasn't supposed to be going to school. Also, she and Sara weren't supposed to see Shinobu packing or stealing food from the kitchen. In the future, I might take it down and rewrite it, but for now, it's still there. I'll just write fillers to make it sound right.  
  
On the thought things: What the character is thinking is supposed to be in italics, but somehow, the italics don't want to appear when I upload chapters. Bear with me. No matter how much I apply my little knowledge of HTML, nothing happens. Like the reviews, NOTHING'S HAPPENING. You have a conscience, REVIEW!  
  
Ragart: Gomen, All work and no play make Luna a dull girl.  
  
Luna: Red Rum! ::Starts chasing family members around the house with knives:: 


	3. Dojo

To Shinobu-chan On Her 16th Birthday  
  
By Luna Stop Swearing  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. Also, I don't own Hiko Seijuro or Rurouni Kenshin. I think some guy named Watsuki Nobuhiro owns it? Not sure.  
Chapter 3: Dojo  
  
"Hinata Defense Force!" Kaolla bellowed from on top of the coffee table in the living room. "We have a situation!"  
  
She paced back and forth on the table, watching the recruits clad in hastily-put-together fatigues standing erect (Su-chan tried to ignore the fact that aside from his posture, Urashima-senpai had something else erect), stomach in chest out (In Mitsune's case, way WAY out, most likely to impress Seta-sensei, who was standing right next to her), hands held at an angle to salute. She examined the facial expressions of her unlikely soldiers.  
  
Haruka was indifferent, seated on the sofa, smoking. Every now and then she would tip the cigarette so that the ashes would fall on the floor. There was already a little pile on the floor. Ever since she'd heard that Shinobu- chan was gone, she'd been smoking more heavily than usual. And chain- smoking.  
  
Motoko's face was calm and focused at the mission at hand. Her sword was in its sheath, meaning that she was ready to go out and kick ass if she had to, and she swore a slow, painful death on anyone who so much as lay a hair strand on Shinobu.  
  
Sara, ecstatic for another adventure, had a sly grin on her face. Shinobu running away was just another excuse to go out and have fun. Kaolla knew that sense of naivety. She still possessed that part of her but as she grew older, it faded slowly, like your favorite pair of jeans. You kept wearing them because you liked them, but since you kept wearing them, they kept getting that bleached color. Sure, she still found time to act like a kid, climb trees, invent neurotic machines that really didn't work and often exploded in the end, and get as dirty as possible, but it seemed awkward now.  
  
Mitsune was sad for Shinobu's premature departure, naturally, since who else would do her laundry and cook something edible? And maybe she would miss having an imouto-san for once. But she felt giddy all over since Seta- sensei had finally acknowledged her as more than an ex-student,  
  
Mutsumi had a half-apologetic, half-dazed expression on her face, but she was smiling and repeating over and over again that she was worried about Shinobu.  
  
Naru was naturally worried sick about Shinobu and her vanishing act, and was torn between that emotion and of feeling furious because she would have to put off researching her thesis, which she wanted to finish before Christmas came.  
  
Haitani and Shirai were staring at Mitsune's posture, their noses bleeding like the time they saw 'Naru' massaging Motoko's thigh in an alley. Haruka conked both of them over the head with a rolling pin, and Motoko with her shinai.  
  
Seta-sensei was trying to avoid Mitsune's more than suggestive gaze. Heck, she was practically having astral sex with him. It was a good thing Sara wasn't asking him about this sort of thing.YET. Obviously, he had no idea what junior high kids talked about.  
  
And Keitaro. he was naturally anxious about Shinobu's welfare. He was concerned about EVERYONE'S welfare. But Kaolla knew that Shinobu felt more than just infatuation towards Urashima-senpai. Obsession, admiration, and stupid little childhood crush wasn't it, either. And Kaolla, who wanted the best for her friend, wished that Urashima-senpai could stop being so pig- headed for one second and snap out of his whole sick, fate-controlled universe and start not being oblivious to the subtle hints that Shinobu dropped.  
  
That was, if they could find Shinobu before she joined a prostitution ring, or worse yet, a circus.  
  
Kaolla coughed, realizing that her speculating had trailed off further than she'd liked. Remembering that she had been voted commanding officer of this comic little outfit, she extricated a whip that Haruka had gotten her for her birthday and with a flick of her wrist, whipped Keitaro's crotch lightly. She'd never get another sweet opportunity to do this in a million millennia. Or maybe not.  
  
"Ite-te-te-te-te-te-te-te!!!" He screamed, flying three floors up, while holding his tender member.  
  
Everyone tried to keep their cool but eventually failed, rolling on the floor laughing (with the exception of Motoko, of course. Haruka, very uncharacteristic of her, was laughing). Kaolla made a casual whiplash at the ceiling to make everyone shut up again. She was strangely proving to be a very efficient drill sergeant, and everyone (sans Keitaro, who was still AWOL) snapped back to attention.  
  
Kaolla pulled a poster out of pandimension [A/N: Yes, that's the same place Heero Yuy keeps the guns in his shorts] and unrolled it. It was of Shinobu- chan during her happier days (if you could say that she was truly happy to begin with), with Kaolla and Sara. It had been taken shortly after Shinobu's junior high graduation ceremony, under a sakura tree. Keitaro had taken the photo, Kaolla remembered, asking her to pose with Shinobu and Sara, which she didn't object to. The shutter had clicked just as a gentle breeze blew cherry blossoms all around. It was the perfect picture, like something straight out of CLAMP, it was so kawaii. Even Kaolla and Sara had miraculously resisted the urge to make faces or discreetly place horns on each other or on Shinobu.  
  
"Kawaii!" Mutsumi breathed, then promptly passed out. Luckily, Haruka had caught her and put her on the sofa.  
  
"She's in no shape to go out," Haruka stated.  
  
"Obviously," Motoko murmured.  
  
"I'll stay with her," Haruka offered, and that was silently accepted by everyone else. Besides, Haruka's word was law at the Hinata Sou. Haitani and Shirai had had to learn that the hard way, being the last boarders to be accepted into the inn. Also, that was okay with everyone else since yes, they liked Mutsumi, although her condition was kind of a hassle. It wasn't exactly practical to be on a time-restricted hunt for a missing person whilst dragging along a limp human being over your shoulder or bringing said limp human being to the hospital.  
  
At this point, Keitaro had re-entered, a bag of ice on his crotch, not particularly noticing that the melted ice made it seem that he had wet himself. But no one seemed to notice, and no one seemed to care.  
  
"Minna-san, we have a refugee," Kaolla announced in a loud diminuendo.  
  
Gasps all around the living room, even though they already knew what happened.  
  
Motoko sweatdropped. She wished that they could just get everything ironed out so they could go out, find Shinobu, and haul her runaway ass back to Hinata Sou, whether she liked it or not.  
  
"One Shinobu Maehara, aged 15 years old, has been declared missing by the Hinata Defense Force since 10:30 PM tonight. She was last seen by kanrinrin and ex-ronin Keitaro Urashima, this morning, unconscious outside her room. After we tied Keitaro up in a chair and suspended him from a tree upside- down, he admitted that he did not have sex with Shinobu but just dragged her to her bedroom and put her on her futon and stayed with her until she regained consciousness."  
  
Murmurs.  
  
"What were you doing with a minor?" Naru demanded, practicing her uppercut on the unwilling subject, who made a new hole on the ceiling with his head.  
  
"G-g-gomen nasai." Keitaro mumbled, trying to extricate himself from the ceiling once again.  
  
"We haven't the faintest idea where she went," Su-chan continued "All I know is that her mom lives in Sendai, and her father lives in Nagasaki. So we should probably start looking there first."  
  
"E, matte. I thought the whole reason Shinobu-chan stayed here was because she didn't like living with either of her parents," Kitsune spoke up.  
  
"Hm. We'll figure that out later." Kaolla rerolled Shinobu's poster and stuck it inside her fatigue top. She retrieved another scroll from pandimension and unrolled that, too. It was an incredibly detailed map of Japan. In color.  
  
"Kirei!" Haitani commented, who worked part-time (for now) at a shop that specialized in materials needed in geography, like maps, globes, specially designed electronic compasses, global positioning systems (GPS) and such. "Very detailed."  
  
Kaolla threw the map at her rag-tag army. It felt like a slow-mo scene in a movie where seconds equaled minutes and everything you said came out in a really deep arch-nemesis type voice. Everyone dived for the map in slow-mo.  
  
Motoko eyed Haruka, as if asking why they were acting like this. The older woman tipped her cigarette so that the ashes fell on the cyclone of people. Kendo-Girl always respected and admired Haruka-san; she could always act like nothing had happened, even if Hinata Sou probably burned down and the Armageddon had began.  
  
"When you go off to battle, you must first have to think that you'll come out alive," Haruka muttered in her monotonous tone.  
  
Motoko didn't quite get her meaning, but left it at that.  
  
MINUTES LATER  
  
Everyone was on top of each other, and nobody seemed to care, they were so tired. Keitaro, Shirai, and Haitani were in a corner, on top of each other, as each knew better than to even come within five feet of any of the girls lest they once again prove the Anime Law of Resilience and Regeneration.  
  
The map, on the other hand, had been successfully been shredded into a gajillion pieces of colored paper, and Kaolla remained undeterred and indifferent, passing out small, pocket-size versions of the original map.  
  
"Sara, Motoko-chan and I are Team Tama-chan," Kaolla announced , while Sara enthusiastically waved a banner that spelled out their team name in hiragana, with an accompanying image of a kawaii turtle that looked exactly like Tama-chan.  
  
Motoko cringed. "I AM NOT GOING TO BE IN A TEAM THAT IS RELATED TO TURTLES!" She declared, stomping off towards Kitsune and Naru, indicating who she'd rather be paired with.  
  
Suddenly, she felt something blunt, wet, and alive on the back of her gi. Motoko Aoyama froze, paralyzed by the assumption of what it was.  
  
"We have a libidinous turtle who has a fetish for real feminine swordswomen and we aren't afraid to use him!" Sara yelled.  
  
"Isn't Tama-chan a HER?" Shirai and Haitani inquired.  
  
Silence as they all pondered the thought.  
  
Motoko sighed. "Fine, I'll go with you. BUT LET ME WASH MY CLOTHES FIRST!" She jumped up and ran to the laundry room, screaming obscenities and feeling dirty and disgusting all at the same time.  
  
"Anyway, we'll take care of Sapporo, Sendai, Asahikawa, Hakodate, Aomori, Akita, Morioka, and Niigata in the east," Kaolla informed them, as if they hadn't been living in Japan for their entire lives (with the exception of Sara). Motoko quickly emerged from the laundry room, taking off the specially designed suit she'd bought, the kind the doctors used in Hong Kong to avoid getting SARS. She was holding a pair of tongs, which everyone knew she used to handle her clothes when Tama-chan even got near them, and murmuring something about stewed turtle. Su-chan was starting to rub off on her.  
  
"Change of plans, Motoko, you're with Keitaro."  
  
Kendo Girl released a strangled battle cry as Keitaro cowered in his place. Motoko glowered at him. "One touch, Urashima, and-" She produced a leaf out of thin air (pandimension?) and threw it high above their heads. She then jumped up and struck it once with her practice sword, then let gravity do its thing, landing on the coffee table. The leaf landed on Keitaro's open palm.  
  
He was surprised, since the ordinary green leaf appeared to be untouched, unmarred. "Nothing happened," he told Motoko.  
  
Motoko raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"  
  
At that moment, the leaf in his palm had been cleanly dissected into quarters.  
  
Keitaro gulped, and Motoko returned her shinai into its sheath, satisfied.  
  
"Motoko, Keitaro, you'll take care of the west. That includes Yamaguchi, Nagasaki, Kagashima, Okinawa, Fukuoka, Hiroshima, and Naha. You'll be. Team Kuzu Ryu Sen!"  
  
"Someone's been watching too much Rurouni Kenshin," Haruka commented, who didn't want to openly admit that she was also addicted to the show, and had the hots for Hiko Seijuro. Wit, muscles, brain, moves, and what a voice.  
  
"Naru-senpai, Mutsumi-senpai, you can take over the north side. That's Kanazawa, Kyoto, Okayama, Fukui and Gifu."  
  
"Mutsumi-san is in no condition to travel!" Naru protested. She really liked Mutsumi, but she didn't want to play nurse for the rest of fall break.  
  
"I'm okay," Mutsumi said in that nothing-has-happened-I-can-do-anything-now voice, getting off the couch. "Wai, Naru-san! It's great we're going to spend more time together! I'm so excited! And this time, I'll take my medication."  
  
"Yokatta," Naru laughed nervously, remembering the disastrous trip to Okinawa. She attempted to smile, but it turned out more as a grimace. Mutsumi didn't seem to notice. Oh Kami-sama. Help help help.  
  
"You can be."  
  
"Team Discovery Channel!" Mutsumi burst out.  
  
"Is that okay with you, Naru-senpai?"  
  
Naru sweatdropped. "E. hai."  
  
"Seta-sensei and Mitsune can take over the south, that's Tokyo, Yokohama, Matsuyama, Nagoya, Osaka, Kobe, Shizuoka, Kumamoto, and Kochi."  
  
Mitsune's eyes sparkled with naughtiness. "Seta-kun, can our team name be Team X?"  
  
Seta was a go-with-the-flow kind of guy. "Sure, why not, Kitsune-chan? If it makes you happy."  
  
"I think a lot of X-RATED things will be happening to Team X," Naru whispered to Haruka, who returned a slight grin.  
  
"X-what?" Sara asked.  
  
"Nothing," the older women answered, crossing their fingers behind their backs.  
  
"Chotto matte, Kaolla Su!" Haitani exclaimed. "What about Shirai and me? What will we do?"  
  
"You can be in charge of the Operation: Retrieve Refugee headquarters here!" Kaolla said after a moment's thought.  
  
"Eh. How's that?"  
  
"You know, post flyers of Shinobu-chan, make phone calls to all the cities in Japan, and so on. Be creative." Wrong move on Su-chan's part, telling Haitani and Shirai to be creative.  
  
"If you're not back before fall break ends, I'm renting out your rooms!" Haruka called.  
  
"That's settled then!" Kaolla shouted, raising her helmet. "The Japan Adventure has begun!"  
  
End of Chapter 3.  
  
A/N:  
  
On the geographical locations: If you happen to know Japan like the back of your hand, it's obvious that I have made a lot of mistakes. I didn't know how to classify places like Hiroshima, Fukui, Gifu, and so on because I consulted three different maps of Japan, and they placed the locations differently, and sometimes one map would have a place the other would not have. So some of it is accurate, some is guesswork. Also, you're saying that Sapporo should be classified as being in the north, but I said it was in the east. That's because I looked at it at a different angle, the same angle Naru was using when she, Keitaro, and Mutsumi were going to Okinawa. Therefore, Okinawa is in the west, Sendai in the east, and so forth. At least you can be assured that I have no intention of becoming a cartographer any time soon.  
  
On OOC-ness: Are they? I reread the chapter and actually found it satisfactory, although I have no idea how 16 year-old Kaolla Su would act. Please send comments and suggestions and areas for improvement along with your review.  
  
On Haitani and Shirai living in Hinata Sou: Yes, they live there now. In this fic, anyway. I only put them in because I like these two perverts. They're actually cute, in a pseudo-biseinen way. I think. Oh hell.  
  
On the way-too-obvious reference to Rurouni Kenshin: WHAT? I like it! ESPECIALLY Hiko Seijuro, hehehe.  
  
On the thoughts of the characters in previous chapters: When I use Microsoft Word, I make sure to italicize them, but when I upload chapters, they don't come out italicized. No matter what I do, what frickin' format I try, they don't come out. Gomen for that. But at least now you know that the author's thoughts must be in italics. Anybody out there with any tips to make my life relatively easier?  
  
On The Japan Adventure: Not that it's related to LH or anything else, but I wrote this massive fic in Taglish (a combination of Tagalog and English) about my friends and I going on this huge trip to Japan, and we did everything possible: we got arrested, we went to the 1st ever International Anime and Manga Convention (yeah right), went to Ash and Incubus concerts, hugged the emperor, flew a plane by ourselves, and so forth. Just. sharing insights. Okay, I'm babbling now. Too much Pepsi Blue that's past its expiration date. 


	4. Koan

To Shinobu-Chan On Her 16th Birthday  
  
By Luna Stop Swearing  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1, too lazy to write one disclaimer per chapter. Also, I don't own Touya Kinomoto or CCS, CLAMP does. I think. And I don't own Slam Dunk, too. Dr. T does.  
  
Chapter 4: Koan  
  
A smart thing you did, Shinobu-chan, running away from home. What will you do now? Where will you go?  
  
Shinobu wanted to give her conscience what it rightly deserved at the moment, a swift kick in the arse. She'd studied this element of short story writing a long time ago in grade school, this thing called internal conflict, conflict between the character and his conscience, usually ending up with the said character going insane. A few years ago she probably wouldn't have experienced this sort of thing, but now, that part of her brain dealing with conflict had opened up and was working overtime.  
  
She figured that if she didn't act quickly, the others would eventually catch up with her. That is, if they even bothered looking for her. But most likely, they would probably rejoice and throw a party at having dropped another burden from their already heavy load.  
  
Shinobu Maehara, she admonished herself, You are NOT a spineless human being. You chose to excommunicate yourself from your parents but you turned out FINE, ne? Living with strangers, for God's sake. You became independent. You haven't once asked for their help for ANYTHING. You're better off without them.  
  
She laughed mirthlessly. Even she was starting to believe her own lies.  
  
Being practical (at least, the most practical among the boarders), Shinobu decided that she hadto make up her mind where to go and fast, before the station master found it strange that a 15 year-old was hanging around Kanagawa District Station with luggage that weighed more than she did.  
  
"Tokyo," she mused, pawing through the atlas of Japan she'd found while haphazardly tossing things into her suitcases. There were many opportunities for work in the big city. Or let people think she was a tourist. She didn't care.  
  
Could you repeat that phrase, Shinobu-chan? You said you DIDN'T care if people thought you looked like a tourist?  
  
That was probably the first nonconformist, independent thought she'd had since. since her decision to stay at Hinata Sou. Part of her was proud that she was rising above the jaded expectations of everyone else, and the other part of her, the skeptical, traditional part, was pulling the former down. No, you can't be different, it was saying.  
  
I'm here. At Kanagawa District Station. I've come too far to turn back.  
  
And what was it you said on the bus ride here? I believe your mantra was "I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die?" Am I correct? And you sweat so much that you had to keep wiping your hands on your jeans.  
  
Shinobu looked down at her jeans, still with wet handprints. So her conscience wasn't exaggerating.  
  
What's this force pushing me to go ahead? Half of me wants to go, half of me-I attribute that to my accursed conscience-doesn't want to go. But even so, my legs keep working, they forge ahead, they don't remain still nor go backwards.  
  
"Nagoya, Sendai, Okinawa, Kyoto," Shinobu murmured under her breath, her hands shaking with fear, not being able to hold the atlas properly as she was still thinking about what she had told herself in her mind. She wiped her hands nervously on her jeans.  
  
But there's a reason for everything, ne? There's a reason for Kami-sama sending that huge flood. He wanted to start over. There's a reason he saved Noah, his wife and kids, and those two-of-every-kind animals. He wanted them to go forth and reproduce, and thus be responsible for generations of fornicators, sinners, liars, cheaters, gamblers, drunks, rock stars, pop icons, divas, and debutantes. So it's obvious that there's a reason for this trip. Maybe your room will be turned into a bowling alley. Or a brothel. Or a soup kitchen. Or another forest of Kaolla's. And that cute guy from Seijou High, what's-his-name, ah, Touya Kinomoto , he just might transfer in, then he'd get Akiko as his seatmate. Then she'd fall in love with him. Look at the possibilities!  
  
Shinobu groaned and decided that she didn't feel much better after that thought, and instead checked her savings. She had enough money for a one- way trip. I guess I'm not coming back.  
  
Summoning every watt of courage she had, she approached the ticket booth, yanking her luggage like a little child would do his favorite stuffed toy. It took her 10 whole minutes to get herself and her bags lined up, and it took another 10 long decade-like minutes before she was facing a ticket- seller, an older, tireder [A/N: Pardon the word] version of Haruka-san. This one had the same trademark nonchalant expression and was shamelessly smoking a cigarette. The booth naturally reeked of tobacco, broken dreams, cheap perfume, and mistakes.  
  
"Where to?" She asked the naïve girl in front of her. Another one, she thought soberly, shaking her head, staring at the innocence leaning against the glass pane of the ticket booth.  
  
"Okinawa," was the first thing out of the young girl's mouth. Shinobu herself was surprised. It was as if her mouth had worked without permission from her brain. She laughed uncertainly to hide her fear, her self- consciousness, her anxieties, her past, the things she wanted to leave behind. "Ah, anou. how much will it cost me?"  
  
The ticket taker, whose nametag said 'Orashima Haruko' glanced over Shinobu's shoulder. [A/N: Coincidence? Fate? Call it what you like] Seeing that no one else was lined up behind the lass (it was, after all, 11 PM), she slipped the teenager a long strip of salmon cardboard like she was a drug pusher or something.  
  
Shinobu opened her light pink purse and drew out a few thousand yen. "I'm afraid I don't have much, Haruko-bachan. will this be enough?"  
  
Haruko gave her a half-smile. "Call me Haruko-san. Iie. put your money away."  
  
"But I have to pay you!" Ever-valiant Shinobu insisted.  
  
"But you need to pay for your food and lodgings, ne?" Haruko whispered knowingly. "Running away isn't easy, especially for first-timers."  
  
Shinobu's eyes bugged out as she tried to rescue a losing conversation, proving that she was saving an already sunken ship. "No, no, you see, my 'ka-san lives here, and my 'tou-san lives in Okinawa, and I travel between them."  
  
"You really don't know how often I hear that."  
  
The girl fidgeted nervously. "Really, I must pay you."  
  
"I said keep it. Hurry, the train will come any minute now."  
  
Shinobu was flustered and could do nothing at the moment but accept her fate (could it be luck?) and the ticket.  
  
"Aa, Shinobu-chan."  
  
Startled, the younger girl asked, leaning into the glass that separated her from this person, who apparently knew more about her than she'd like. "How did you know my name?"  
  
Haruko shrugged. "It doesn't matter. So many of you come here and never return. Shinobu-chan, you know, sometimes you have to learn how to make your own clothes. And-" She leaned closer to Shinobu "You can always change your destiny. Just don't make it change you."  
  
Shinobu didn't understand Haruko's words of wisdom right here right now, but all she knew was that she was getting a lot of them today, all of which she couldn't fathom the deeper meaning of. But she figured what the ticket seller said was important, and during the lowest point of her life, she would probably dwell on it. So she held on to them, knowing full well that it would be one of her vivid memories of home.  
  
"Doumo, Haruko-ba." She stopped short of making a mistake she usually did with Haruka. "Haruko-san." Shinobu bowed and pulled her things on the platform.  
  
Haruko Orashima watched the young girl uncertainly board a train that would take her away and steal all the fantasies she had of the real world, cleansing her of her innocence, and baptizing her with fire into a world of sin.  
A/N: Thanks for reading! Explanations below, in case you have questions on something or didn't understand mentioned  
  
On Haruko Orashima: Remember: Haruka-Haruko: DIFFERENT. I didn't make a mistake with the names. I'm pretty sure that there's no such family name as Orashima, but I needed to make it sound as close to Haruka-san as possible. Okay, for the Haruko part, I may have taken that from Haruko Akagi (Slam Dunk). Even I am not quite sure what larger part Haruko will play in further chapters, so if you have any suggestions on what role she should play in Shinobu's escapade, I'd be happy to read them.  
  
On geographical locations: I am not at all sure where Hinata Sou is (all I know is that it's in Japan, okay?), but I know it's a small city (as stated by Keitaro in the episode where Naru becomes an idol singer), meaning, it can't be Tokyo. But I watched the anime again, and it said that it was somewhere that it's in Kanagawa (where IS that?).  
  
On the insertion of Touya Kinomoto: What can I say? I'm a bloody idiot when it comes to him. And, after all, Love Hina is a mix of Japanese pop culture and tradition, with references to other anime, like the whole Saiyuki play they put to raise money for Wachuuchabou Hinata, the small café that Haruka runs.  
  
On Shinobu having a crush on Touya: I see that, but what she feels for Tou- niichan is a different kind of feeling from what she feels for Keitaro. And besides, I'm a strong supporter of Tomouya pairings. 


	5. Unromantic Interlude

::Interlude::  
  
Hey. I hope lots of people read this.  
  
::Wishful thinking::  
  
Anyway, this is obviously NOT part of the story, but I just HAD to advertise this.  
  
I realized that there weren't that many GOOD Love Hina fics on the 'Net (since LH isn't as popular as, say, Rurouni Kenshin, Tenchi Muyo, or Gundam Wing), so I thought of gathering all the brilliant LH fic writers and doing something together. The idea was to cross all sorts of boundaries and genres and just DO SOMETHING GOOD.  
  
The writers currently involved are:  
  
*Project Pegasus *Baka Alaskan *Kage *Belldandy'sKeiichi *Andrew Joshua Talon *Tsuki Tenshi *bakasai42 *Death's Head *Shinji Ikari  
  
If you think your writing is good, don't hesitate to e-mail me (wyrdsistah@lycos.com) to say you're interested to join, and I'll check some of your works and send you a survey. Besides, if you join now, you haven't missed anything much, no solid plot yet. we'll probably just wing it.  
  
I'm still trying to figure out how to write round robins, how to organize everything else, so if you also have some tips to give me, please, PLEASE send them to me.  
  
Much appreciated, Luna Stop Swearing, sometimes known as Mandelarae Graeson 


	6. Tai Sabaki , Stage One ::Tao::

To Shinobu-Chan On Her 16th Birthday  
  
By Luna Stop Swearing  
  
Disclaimer: Check Chapter 1. ALSO, Yukito Tsukishiro obviously belongs to CLAMP. And Mattel owns Barbie. And someone else owns Ran Fujimiya, who obviously is from Weiss Kreuz.  
  
Details: Since the italics won't show up when I try to put them into my chapters, I decided to do something else. So everything enclosed in will be the character's thoughts and everything enclosed in ~~ will be the character's conscience. Doumo!  
  
{~*~}  
  
Chapter 5: Tai Sabaki, Stage One ::Tao::  
  
Keitaro and Motoko were the last party to leave for their destination, the west, since they spent at least an hour poring over a huge map, contemplating the best, easiest, and next-to-dirt-cheapest way to scout Okayama to Okinawa, and arguing over each other's proposals.  
  
But luckily, a few Ougi Zangan Ken Ni no Tachis(1) later, they had come to the agreement of taking a bus to Gifu, which would take at least two agonizing hours. Sure, it would mean two long, torturous hours of being near each other, but they had to keep in mind the fact that they had a meager amount of money to spend (and probably had to think up ingenious ways of making more along the way), meaning they couldn't be frivolous with their fare and take the Shinkansen(2) and an allotted amount of time on their hands, both of which don't make eager travelers any pleasanter. And besides, all Motoko had to do was find a seat as far away from Keitaro as possible, or if no other seats were available, she'd just have to keep watch at all times, not that Keitaro did anything perverted on purpose.  
  
And now here they were, at the Kanagawa Bus Terminal, Motoko carrying her sword and a medium-sized backpack woven out of straw, and Keitaro carrying a Hayden Turner (3) backpack (you know, the ones that can hold a tent, a huge sleeping bag, a couple of novels, extra food, stuff to pawn) and a few other things besides. Motoko was standing as far away from Keitaro as possible.  
  
"Urashima, are you this impractical?" She snorted gesturing to the duffel bags he was toting aside from the huge, I'm-going-to-Tibet-for-seven-years- to-look-for-Bigfoot presence on his back.  
  
Keitaro laughed dryly. "Motoko-chan, what fueled me to go to Tokyo Daigaku(4) was the promise I made, remember? I didn't want to be rich, famous, or anything. I just wanted to find that damn little girl who promised me something."  
  
"Meaning you really are such a shallow, impractical piece of scum."  
  
"Not just ANY shallow, impractical piece of scum," Keitaro pointed out. "A shallow, impractical piece of scum who happens to be a Toudaisei and is accompanying a lovely Japanese kendo practitioner to Gifu to look for a runaway resident."  
  
Motoko tried to hide the wave of crimson that washed over her face by burying her fist in Keitaro's face. "KISAMA!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
She hadn't yet mastered the art of taking compliments. At least Shinobu had quietly muttered her refusal of the compliment and had moved on, without causing Keitaro any bodily harm.  
  
People were starting to stare. It was the whole train scenario again, when she'd had nothing to wear. Except this time, it wasn't about how she looked. It was how she behaved.  
  
Keitaro, who had gotten used to his daily dose of curses, kicks, screams, punches, and trips to the hospital, gazed up at the kendo girl in the dimming moonlight, a bit stunned at the sudden outburst, but, as stated, used to it. She looks quite pretty, Motoko-chan, actually, with the hair flying around her face like that and that blush on her face. If ever she consents to marry, that will be a very lucky man indeed.  
  
~Oi, Keitaro! What are you thinking?~  
  
Sorry, sorry, he apologized to his conscience. But can't one admire beauty nowadays? Is that, too, a crime? I mean, I find many girls pretty.  
  
Like Narusegawa, she's beautiful. She's smart, she's sexy, she's pretty, perfection in every aspect. Although I WOULD take points off for the aggressive behavior. She looks pretty much like she did two years ago, when everything started, and life as I knew it, metamorphosed. She still wears the sweater-and-mini ensemble, although in different shades, so none of us can comment on her lack of style. Which saves me a lot of broken bones, mind you. She's taken up BS Psychology, which I don't particularly understand, since the world doesn't need a whole gaggle of quacks (i.e., so- called psychologists) lurking around every corner of the world. However, as soon as I'd pointed out that she was a cruel bitch leeching on the insecurities and weaknesses of the. well, insecure and the weak, she sent me flying up to the stratosphere .my relationship with Narusegawa. hasn't changed since Kanako came. It's still basically love-hate, but the hate is slowly disintegrating. I think. I mean, she likes it when I send her flowers and chocolates and teddy bears, but she calls me a 'baka' every time I do so. I'm sure if you confronted her about this, she'd blush, deny it, and send you flying into Low Earth Orbit.  
  
And Sara-chan would be pretty, I suppose, if she wasn't like Narusegawa in many ways. It's nice that she let that blonde hair of hers grow out now, and she has stopped wearing that bonnet. I'm actually surprised how drastically one can change in the span of two years. Okay, maybe not focusing much on the attitude part, but on the physical aspect. She looks like a model now, like a typical American teenager, like the girls we see on MTV and Dawson's Creek, or Survivor. Her blue eyes are especially stunning and just take your breath away now, since her eyelashes have grown longer. Seta-sensei told me that she actually looks a lot like her American mother, whom she hates talking about, since it turns out that her parents never had time for her as a child. Her father was an archaeologist and her mother was an actress. And she's taller, now a junior high kid. It's totally clichéd, and I should start a trend to stop this (how ironic, oxymoronic, whatever), but I DO have to say that time really flies. Okay, it doesn't fly. It's practically traveling at Warp Speed  
  
Motoko. Well, I can't say she's changed, but some of her worldviews have. For instance, her primal instinct of men-originally Aku Soku Zan(5)- has slightly degenerated, although she still thinks that men were created to solely irritate her. Well, that's what she SAID to Haruka when a guy named Ran Fujimiya (who I'm sure had decent intentions) asked her to the spring dance a few months ago. I guess the finishing school her ani-wae sent her to was somewhat effective. She was able to control her fury for the entire summer vacation, at the finishing school in Osaka, but the moment she got home, she practically demolished a quarter of the Hinata Sou, so it's hard to say. I'm quite certain she still shudders at the thought of marriage or even relationships, but at least she can maintain a remotely civil conversation with someone of the opposite sex before vanquishing them to the depths of hyperspace. Motoko still dresses the same, conservatively male, gi(6) and hakama(7) at the ready. Although now and then she has been known to surprise us by wearing little numbers that define her gender (female, that is).  
  
Haruka-san looks nice when she smiles, which she's been doing a lot lately. I think she's been doing that a lot now since Seta-sensei returned from America, or from wherever part of the world he was in before he came back. When I saw them together for the first time, I thought that something had happened between them a long time ago, probably in the Stone Age, because they looked so 'right' together. A few weeks after Seta-sensei had become re-accustomed to Japan, I'd asked Haruka if they were lovers before, when they were younger. After giving me an uppercut, she said something cryptic, something like "Love doesn't choose its victims," lit another cigarette, and left. She's turning 30 in December, and I'd thought it be a nice gesture to throw her a surprise birthday party. But everyone refused, and Mitsune muttered something like, "Yes, yes, reminding a woman how old she really is will make her happy." But, I must say, thanks to Seta's presence, she looks at least a couple of years younger. She looks, what, 28?  
  
I can't say much about Mitsune, since she hasn't changed much. She still lusts after Seta-sensei, she still steals from my bank account, and she spends every day guzzling sake. Although I understand that she had professed her feelings for Seta-sensei and he had surprisingly returned them. Although in her defense, I must say that she is slightly more independent than she was a couple of years ago. At least she got into a decent college (although it's not Toudai) near here, and she works part- time as a waitress at the Hinata Café. Kentaro, who also works there when he needs quick money, has promised to try and keep her from doing magic tricks and making the sake 'disappear.'  
  
Mutsumi has always been beautiful to me. Or maybe I'm biased because she's most likely the female equivalent of me, clumsy, neurotic, occasionally absentminded. One of the first things she did at the beginning of last year was cut of her lustrous chocolate brown hair. It now hangs limply at her shoulders, and every time I see her, I silently lament the loss. Although she's at the top of her class now (her asthma and chronic fatigue had been cured, with the use of drugs which Mutsumi dislikes), we all still see the old, forgetful, three-year ronin. I understand that she's now *secretly* dating one of her Literature professors, a certain Yukito Tsukishiro.(8) They often come here to escape the city, and also because no one else from Mutsumi's class goes here. Or LIVES here, for that matter. And, surprise surprise, Narusegawa has introduced her to a marvelous piece of fabric called: JEANS. Turns out that Mutsumi had never worn jeans while she was growing up (9). Her grandfather, whom she had grown up living with, always stood by his beliefs that the men wore the pants in the family, therefore she had grown up only wearing skirts and dresses. Even after he had passed on, Mutsumi didn't wear jeans, in honor of her grandfather. And also because she couldn't understand how comfortable a piece of stitched cloth that restricted your crotch could be. It was basically the latter. So Naru took her shopping, and she ended up buying ten pairs of jeans. Go figure.  
  
Kaolla-chan is cute. She may be beautiful, but in my eyes she will still be the spry 13 year-old running about Hinata Sou with her whacked-out inventions and jumping off roofs like the howler monkeys of her native land. In terms of maturity, she is not as hyperactive as before, which I believe is partially Ramba and Amara's faults. This miraculous, downright peculiar change occurred just last year, when she went on a trip to her country for the entire summer vacation. She was. 15 then? I guess she morphed into the real, adult Kaolla that she used to turn into. Her hair has red streaks in it, but she claims not to have used any hair dye. Amara told me that a lot of children from Kaolla's generation have the same genetic. thing. Red streaks in the hair indicated that they were no longer children. So Kaolla is aiming for Toudai next year, and she's going through Naru's, Mutsumi's, and my old entrance exam books. When I look at her nowadays, I see a little part of the old Kaolla Su, the exotic vibrance, the childlike spontaneity. Except that the wackiness has come down to a minimum since I suppose Ramba and Amara gave her a reality check. The inventions are still there, but slightly toned down. Some of them actually work. The beatings are seldom, but when given, extremely painful. She has learned to use the stairs instead of jumping off roofs, but sometimes she forgets. Which is how I like her. I'm still getting used to change.  
  
And Shinobu-chan. yes, she has changed. And how. Gosh. I don't know how to put her beauty into words. I mean, she's stunning, definitely. Sometimes I see her at Hinata Sou and can't believe that it's really her. Over the years, she's grown, a good height of 5"5 now, and she's stopped wearing her purple hair in the Hong Kong superstar fashion, you know, hanging limply around your face. She had it grown out to her shoulders, and she often keeps it up in a ponytail. Her purple eyes are so alluring now. I mean, I didn't usually pay attention to her eyes, but when I look at her, face-to- face, the first thing that captivates me is her eyes. They are like a Moroccan belly dancer's. no, I have never experienced watching one, or even being near one, but I strongly believe that if there are Moroccan belly dancers, their eyes would be like Shinobu's. So dark, mysterious, beautiful. It's like they are both inviting you to see inside her soul and at the same time pushing you away and kicking you out the door. Which gives you a peek of what Shinobu is really like. Shinobu is her eyes. okay, that didn't make sense. But that's what Shinobu is. So shy, yet aching to break out of her three year-old shell. She is irony personified. Maybe change isn't so bad after all. I don't know what to say to her nowadays so I just shut up, talk to her as little as possible. Yes, she is beautiful. Yes, I believe I have experienced nirvana. No, I cannot have her. Sometimes I see her, looking her forlorn self, then I think of Naru, then I start having second thoughts about the thin line between reality and dreams.  
  
~Stop thinking about that, Keitaro. Everyone's right. You're a good-for- nothing pervert. You think younger girls are attractive.~  
  
~Yes, it's just like a brother hitting on his little sisters or something. It's disgusting. It's practically incest, if you think about it. You awful, awful, son of an unprintable word.~  
  
Keitaro tried to get his mind off things, about how he had successfully described the entire workings and changes of the Hinata Sou since three years ago, what he thought of Naru, what he thought of Shinobu. And the fine line between dreams and reality. After racking his brain, trying to think of things not related to anyone, he ended up trying to get the mental picture of him screwing a Barbie doll out of his head before his nose started bleeding. (10)  
  
Suddenly, a bus careened around the corner and came to a halt mere inches from Motoko, who didn't flinch. The wind caused fluttered the gi open ever so slightly, giving Keitaro a good view of Motoko's chest. Sadly, Motoko realized where his gaze was directed at  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? SUKEBE!!!!! ZANKUSEN!!!!!"  
  
~Now you remember why we don't admire beauty too often~, Keitaro's conscience chided him.  
  
"Hai," Keitaro murmured weakly as he sailed through the air, a matter he had come to know all too well.  
  
Beauty is a decidedly dangerous thing, Keitaro convinced himself. Nice to look at, dangerous to hate, Your harried conscience, it will not sate.  
  
{~*~}  
  
Author's notes: Explanations on the numbers you keep seeing throughout this chapter  
  
(1) Ougi Zangan Ken Ni no Tachis- the move Motoko uses to vanquish the evil spirit from within Naru, I forgot what episode it was.  
  
(2) Shinkansen- The famous Bullet Train  
  
(3) Hayden Turner- The Aussie guy on the National Geographic who goes around the world. My favorite show by him, I guess, must be Hayden Turner's Wildlife Challenge, or something like that. He carries around a huge backpack that will hold enough clothes to last a few months in the Alps. I think he has a tent attached there, too.  
  
(4) Tokyo Daigaku- Toudai. I'm not sure about this, I just got it off some website. If this is correct, then at least ya learned something today, right? Now you know why they call it Toudai.  
  
(5) Aku Soku Zan: As most of you animaniacs know, this is Saitou Hajime's (from Rurouni Kenshin) code of honor, or something like that. Probably a mantra. Or a belief. Whatever. It basically means Kill Evil Instantly.  
  
(6) Gi: skirt pants.  
  
(7) Hakama: Short men's kimono, what Motoko usually wears.  
  
(8) Okay, you should know by now that Yukito Tsukishiro doesn't belong anywhere in Love Hina. The thing is, I just wanted to put in a lot more bits and pieces of Japanese culture, which the anime and manga triumph in doing.  
  
(9) I'm not sure about that. HAS Mutsumi EVER worn pants in the anime? I can't remember, so if I'm wrong (which I think I am), please don't hesitate to correct me. (10) I'm sorry if I traumatized you with the Barbie thing, but it's actually based on a cool short story I read, something Doll was the title, and the book was a collection of short stories, something along the lines of 'Fear of Small Objects' or 'Fear of Sharp Objects.' The short story was about a brother fantasizing about his little sister's Barbie, and call me a psychopath, but I thought it was BRILLIANT. If anyone knows the name of the short story, the book, or the author, PLEASE INFORM ME.  
  
Thanks to everyone for reviewing this. More reviews fuel me, however, so encourage me to write faster. Hehehe. 


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